Spirograph was the toy of the year in 1967. (My birth year!) I loved spirograph as a child. It makes total sense to me as I write this, because it was like putting my childhood brain on paper! In my early years, I naturally lived from my center and all the colorful strokes of my heart, mind, and soul created the art of life from my center.
My dream life is realized through my adult Spirographic-brain. Like my childhood Spirograph art set, my Spirographic-brain has a center that many colors extend out to create circles and objects of many shapes. And, most important it has boundaries needed in adult life, so that each colorful stroke is carefully brought back to the center.
Spirograph consists of many plastic items that look like a cross of an elementary art set and 10th grade geometry supplies. To create the artwork you place one of the larger geometrical shapes on a piece of paper and then place one of the smaller geometrical shapes in the center. The large geometrical shape acts as a boundary as you place a pen in the smaller geometrical shape and “move it” all around to create your piece of art.
What does my spirograpic-brain have to do with letting go?
Left on its on its own, I am certain one part of my brain would go outside the boundaries of the larger geometrical shape and prevent me from living life from my core, full-heartedly. Without the boundary I would live life from a stuck way of being of “not good enough”. And from this place of “not good enough” I would experience fear, sadness, worry, guilt, and many other dark, undesirable emotions. I am certain that my brain would go outside of the boundaries and be stuck in an endless linear line of “not good enough”, because I experienced life for many years from a way of being “not good enough”.
I was blessed as a child to be born into a family full of love. My days were full of love from my parents in what would now look like a 1970s sitcom full of family friends in a cul de sac of houses with avocado green appliances, floral couches, velvet wallpaper, halter tops for the women, and polyester leisure suits for the men. I spent several weekends a month with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I know what it is like to have a life of being “good enough” as a result of the love that was given to me by all of my family and the life long family friends we made in that 1970’s neighborhood. And, I have an immeasurable gratitude for everyone that gave and showed me love.
So, how did I get to that way of being “not good enough”? I believe we all create a disempowering way of being of “not good enough”, “I am alone”, “No one loves me”, or some version of these as a result of life circumstances throughout our elementary and adolescent years. This disempowering way of being disconnects us from our natural way of being with divine love and creating a life filled with grace and ease with everyone in our lives.
My disempowering way of being came from an experience of my school grades not meeting my parent’s expectations. In my child’s viewpoint I took their well intentioned disciplined as “I am not good enough”. I felt “I am not good enough” in my body. I became “I am not good enough”.
The funny thing about disempowering ways of being is that we live our life trying to disprove them. While I lived life trying to prove that I am good enough, I created myself as a smart person with strong leadership skills. These attributes serve me well. However, there never seemed to be enough situations for me to prove to others that “I am good enough”. Living from a way of being of “I am not good enough” kept me in that endless linear line away from my core. I was living life to prove to the world I was good enough, rather than living life from a true inner sense of knowing “I am enough”. It attracted people that needed me to prove I was good enough. It was exhausting. It left me emotionally disconnected from everyone in my life.
“I am not good enough” is not completely gone. Nor will it ever be.
AND, my Spirographic-brain gives me the ability to deeply connect with all those in my life and live from a way of being of “I am enough”. Feel “I am enough”. As long as I keep the outer, larger Spirograph geometric in place as a boundary, my current life situations and people in my life are manifested from this feeling of love and abundance rather than struggle and scarcity,
In real life the outer, larger Spirograph geometric is my meditation practice. Meditation gives me awareness of my thoughts. I sit and practice focusing on my body, my breath, and the thoughts that arise…and let go of those thoughts to come back to my body, my breath, and the next thoughts that arise…to only let go again. This practice has given me access to let go of disempowering thoughts in my daily life. With awareness I have the choice to let go of thoughts that have the possibility of creating “I am not good enough” as a way of being and continue to live a life full of “I am enough”.
A consistent mediation practice has given me access to live life from my heart, my center and create a beautiful piece of art I call my life…as God, through his divine love, fully intended.
Starting a consistent meditation practice will give you access to empower yourself to let go of all you need to let go of and live life from your center. Your heart. And create your own beautiful piece of art called life.